Archive for January, 2011

Why I’m Blogging About Hijab.

January 25, 2011

Why do I wear hijab? It’s high time I started asking myself the question, from its superficial levels—why do I cover my head every morning?—to the deeper ones: how is this shaping my life, and why do I allow it to do so?

Am I having a change of heart, questioning the decision I made just over a decade ago?

Yes and no. Almost constant in my mind is the notion—reassurance, maybe—that I would be prettier, more attractive, maybe even more successful here in the U.S. without it. It goes without saying that I’m sometimes tempted to take it off.

Ultimately, however, the answer is no, if perhaps partly with the “wrong” motive. I remain convinced, for reasons long and complicated, that my hijab is linked directly to my self-esteem (which happens to run high these days). Without that, grooming and parading my hair is hardly worth the trouble.

So while it’s not the most altruistic reason, it’s the most compelling one for me at the moment.

As far as the blog is concerned, the idea that hijab is correlated to self-confidence is true exclusively in my case. I can’t speak for others, and have only my own experience to conclude from.

This blog is a self-conscious attempt to put words to that point—the choice to stick with it for now. I’ve always struggled in articulating the answer, whether for lack of vocabulary or conviction, so this is my trying to hash it out.

I get asked the question by plenty of people, but if I can’t first explain it to myself, however will I do it for others?

Reason #1: To please God.

January 25, 2011

I don’t know if I believe that or if I’m just saying it, hoping a) that God exists and b) that this particular act is worth it.

At this point, though, I imagine it doesn’t make too much of a difference.